I haven't been on here in awhile and the purpose of this blog was funny and say some borderline intelligent ignorance. This memo isn't any of that, this is honest heartbreak. I once saw a show that had a couple going through hard turmoil. The couple were in a debate to figure out if it was worth it to stay together and if they could get past the past issues and last how different of people they were. Then one of the best quotes I ever heard was said, " we don't know who are until we connected to someone. "Knowing your killing yourself inside cause your thinking about one person is crazy , but it only gets right when you have your other half back." I don't know if the idea of marriage and love that I thought was ideal is real and I doubt that I will ever get that fantasy. It's dumb I like to check on you, I know your fine your fully moved on I get that I'm just trying see your face , sneak sights of your smile. I feel better seeing you happy. As for me I'm a good person who has a heart and is infamous for making all the wrong decision at the worst time. I say the hurtful things that I can't take back and cant cover up. It's hard to love me and like wise I'm hard to fall into love I can say it but meaning is in the visual showing. I don't think guys like me get the good ol' lady you grow up old with I that old man that was divorced cool with his ex wife ad just floats around from a couple girlfriends here and there to get by.